I Give Up!

... But that may be a good thing.  Lately I have been fighting a lot of things in for my "career" which has just put me in a HUGE state of negativity all around:

• manager sidelining me
• falling behind in skills
• trying to find a better job but no luck: many recruiters that just run away... 

So much struggling but what for? Really what’s the point? A bit of extra money. 

Seems not worth it… too must time and energy spent/wasted.. and don't forget I've got a whole bunch of personal problems as well and well... guess shouldn't increase my chances of sever depression?

Not sure if I am already in it or not though...

But I am going to try to get back on track… so maybe a belated New Year’s Resolution:

• Eat healthier and exercise more... meditate, mindfulness? I read exercise and this stuff could help me feel better about myself 
• Read more Amazon library is now at 1400 e-books, and well the majority sound good
• Write some personal programs, look for joining an Open Source project also seems Java is the way to go... Scala
• Maybe learn some Go hear that new language is heating up...
• Eat out but healthier a bit more
• Figure out exactly how much money I would need to retire... doubt I will even live to 40.

Yes.. figure out how to enjoy life NOW